WEDNESDAY W/ WNY AUTHOR: Stephanie Haefner and a Review of Try Me on for Size

Try Me On For Size

Stephanie Haefner

In an attempt to save her floundering lingerie business, Mia suggests a radical idea: a custom-designed sex toy. She just didn’t expect to be the one to test out the prototypes, or find love in the process.

When her widowed business partner is emotionally unable to help with the hands on research this venture requires, it’s up to Mia to have sex with the potential “Spokespenises,” whose presence in the store will be just as important as their toys on the shelf. But once the first bedroom interview is complete, she realizes it’s not as easy as she thought to keep these trysts all business and no pleasure. With her overbearing family scrutizing her every move, and none of them wishing for her success, her sanity is in as much risk as the shop is.

Oliver thought he was talking to a random stood-up woman at a bar, but when she mistakes him for her interviewee, he can’t resist going along with the charade. The business proposition is too enticing to pass up. For once in his life, he’s doing something that makes him happy, reputation be damned. And maybe it will also rid him of his evil, lying fiancé.

Try Me On for Size excerpt

 “We need something special. Something women can’t get everywhere else.”

“Like what?”

Mia remembered an ad she’d seen in the back of a lingerie catalog. A do-it-yourself dildo mold. Any woman could make a rubber replica of her man’s junk to use when he was away.

“How about selling those custom dildo-making kits? Couples can take them home and make it together.”

“That’s good. I think you’re on the right track.” Bryn’s brow furrowed as she walked to the window. “But how many women out there are like me and don’t have a model at home to mold?”

“So, maybe we can find guys to mold. Like have a catalogue of penises or something?”

Bryn spun around, smile wide, eyes all glittery like the new bra-and-panty sets that came in the week before. “No. Just one penis. One guy to be our signature penis. A spokespenis!”

“Oh, I like it!” Penny said. “He can make appearances at the store. Women can buy his replica and get his autograph.”

“Yes. Exactly! A hot guy women can meet and have a face to take home with the toy. They can chat with him, flirt, take pictures.”

“I don’t know,” Mia said, needing to add her thoughts to the conversation. “Is this really what we want for the store? I don’t want to change the reputation we’ve built. We shouldn’t cheapen it, ya know?”

Bryn shook her head. “No. I think women will love it. And if you ask me, it’s time for a change. We need something big if we’re gonna survive. Yeah, it’s a risk, but anything we do now is a risk, including sticking to the same formula we’ve used for eight years.”

She had a point. “Okay. It’s worth a shot. But if we’re gonna do this, we do it right. And by that I mean interviewing legitimate models. I don’t want some random guy who’ll get off on having his penis cloned.”

“No. We’ll have a strict screening process, including references, drug testing . . . STD testing.”

“Yep. All that.” Mia made some notes on her pad. Whoa. Back up. “STD testing? Why would we need that?”

“Well, like I said. We need to test the toys before we sell them. And I’m not going to mold random penises that aren’t any good.”

“How are we gonna test that?”

Mia knew that glint in Bryn’s eyes. And she was not going to like the answer.

“By using it before it’s molded.”

No. No, she couldn’t mean that.

“Someone needs to have sex with the models to make sure their member is adequate.”

“Why? Can’t we tell that just by looking at it?”

“No. Different girths and lengths have different feels. You can’t know how it will feel by just looking, or even touching them with your hand. Only a real live vagina can get the data we need to do this right. We need someone who can do this objectively and make an informed decision. And since Penny is married and Grant can’t do it, that only leaves . . .”

Bryn eyed Mia, the mischievous grin back.

“Oh, no. What about you, Miss Sassy? You’re the one who said the penises need to be tested.”

“I can test the already-made toys. I can’t test the models.”

“Sure you can.”

The smile faded from Bryn’s face. “You know I’m not ready.”

“Well, I am not having sex with random strangers.”

“They wouldn’t be random. They’d be thoroughly screened. I can call legitimate modeling agencies and tell them what we’re looking for. We’ll send them for full health screenings. We’ll select guys for the final round and then you’ll have sex with them. But not real sex. Just test it out and see how it feels from different angles. Make sure it’s thick enough, long enough. Not bent or anything funky.”

“Are we seriously having this conversation?”

Penny sat there, giggling. “I think it’s brilliant.”

“No. I’m not doing it. End of discussion. There has to be another way.”

Sarah's Review:  

Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC for this story.  I wanted this story to support a WNY author, Stephanie Haefner, then life prevented me from reading for a few weeks.  Now I am playing catch up.  Thanks Stephanie for understanding that life happens!  

WARNING:  If sex toys bother you, stop reading.  If you don't have a sense of humor, close the window.  Oh and don't drink or eat since this story can cause choking to occur from laughing. 

What would you do to make sure your business doesn't go out of business and you decide to go a route that could make or break you?  You take a risk.  

How do you find the right option for this risk?  You a have auditions for a model.  

This is just the beginning but the twists and turns of this great story made me fall in love with the characters.  Some of the events made me dislike a character, but I could see that person's side too.  

When Mia meets Oliver, she thinks he is one of the models that is supposed to meet her for the new business venture.  What Mia doesn't expect is that she won't be able to get Oliver out of her mind. She also doesn't expect that she will fall in love with Oliver either.    Oliver was not in a position that he shouldn't have been at that meeting, nor was he in a position to fall in love with Mia, but life has a way of throwing people for a loop. 

When the decision is made to have two models for the new venture, the hilarity ensues.  Oliver and Logan, the other model, have a bet over who will sell more.  A scandal involving Logan has mixed reactions for the store, but it also opened the door for new opportunities for them.   Then the drama hits during the scandal and how Mia and Oliver handle the situation is what made me forgive Oliver for his actions.  

I really love that this story had me laugh, cry and fall in love with characters!