Blurb
When Sameera Kattan's band Final Regret gets signed, she is
over the moon with excitement. But becoming a superstar overnight is so surreal
that she doesn't quite know what to do with the fame and public adoration. If
only her longtime friend Jimmy, the lead guitarist for Crimson Rage would
celebrate with her. Instead she's out on tour with a broody male who goes from
hot to cold in seconds, putting a strain on their renewed friendship.
Jimmy O’Riley can't function with Sam around. Seeing her is
like a ray of sunshine and a knife in the gut at the same time. Jealousy clouds
his judgment whenever a man lays hands on what should've been his years ago.
Endless liquor and fast women fail to bring him the distraction he needs to
survive. One thing he knows for sure is, a tour bus is sure is a tour bus is no
place for them to put ghosts to bed.
Excerpt 1
Two Years Ago…
Helplessness
surged through Jimmy, adding to his soul crippling grief. Before the service,
his father commanded him to keep a tight leash on his emotions, to be strong
for his mother and for Sameera. Unlike his dear old dad, he wasn’t a cold-hearted
bastard. For all the beatings, his old man never succeeded in teaching him how
to cut off hurt, anger, and sadness like a water tap. He barely survived the
funeral service, speaking the eulogy for his older brother. Huddled with family,
he watched the casket team from First Special Forces Group carry the flag
draped casket of his brother, Sergeant First Class Miles O’Riley.
The
urge to drown himself in a bottle hit Jimmy hard. He could taste the bitter
sludge as if he held an open container instead of wishing for one. Inside he
struggled with the weakness threatening to break through his stony façade. The
somber atmosphere that accompanied burying the dead was getting to him even
though he pushed the emotions back.
The
dead. His only brother, his fiercest ally, lay in the sleek black box draped
with the American flag, while the preacher droned on about his path to Heaven,
his sacrifice for the country not going unnoticed. He should be there with him,
getting ready to start a family, getting married to the most beautiful girl in
the world, spending time with him on the road. Not ending with a tragic story.
Not cut down by enemy fire. Not killed like this, not without a chance to say
goodbye, not with a closed casket.
He
hated God, hated his sanctimonious father, hated war. At the moment, he even hated
the United States Military. If he was a hundred percent honest he hated his
brother too, for being such a hero, for going above and beyond—for choosing
country over family—for leaving him.
What
killed him the most? The two women next to him sobbing buckets. No matter how
bad his ma hurt him and continued to cause him a world of hell, in the end she
was still the only mother he had. Sameera’s grief cut him to the quick though. Tore
through him as shrapnel did to his brother. He couldn’t help them, couldn’t
make the situation all right. Nothing about this would ever be right, ever feel
justifiable. His mother lost a son, Sameera lost her fiancé and a future, his
father would much rather he have died than his older brother, the favored son.
Jimmy
lowered his head to the shadows shedding a trail of invisible tears from his
soul. He avoided a physical show, not wanting to incur his father’s wrath and
displeasure for a display of weakness. Clenching and unclenching his hands, he
fought to breathe. In the midst of anguish, the sweet smell of sunshine wafted
over him, obliterating the angst. A slender hand closed over his. Sameera
stepped into his arms hugging him for dear life. Her body melted with his. Like
old times, he kissed the top of her head and crushed her in his arms.
In
front of them the burial team removed and folded the flag. Sameera’s arms wound
tighter around his back as if she knew the lead team member had stopped in
front of them to present her with the flag. Jimmy chanced a glance at his
mother who stood by grief stricken, no doubt still upset she wouldn’t be the
one receiving her son’s flag. She’d received the shadow box during the base
ceremony. Jimmy demanded his parents give Sameera what she rightly deserved
before the funeral. He brought her arms from around him and kissed her palms
while the trumpets played Taps.
“You
can do this. Reach out and accept the flag.” He locked eyes with the guard.
“If
I do he’s really not coming back.”
“I
know, Sam. I know. Let’s reach out together, okay.” Jimmy accepted the flag
with her small hands in his. As the gun salute rendered, her body jumped with
each blast, her knees buckling on the final shot. Jimmy folded her into his
arms sinking to the ground with her. Garrick and Shea moved forward to help him
while his father and Jackson held up his mother. He nodded a silent thanks to
his bros and rocked with Sam on the soft earthen floor.
Together
they watched the crowd disperse, leaving only immediate family and close
friends. The funeral director having lowered his brother into the ground, began
to fill the plot with the loose dirt. “Let’s go,” he murmured in her hair.
Sameera
hitched a breath. She took off her heels and pushed off from his body to stand.
Jimmy
climbed to his feet and smoothed down his suit, taking a moment to compose
himself. His band members and their families moved off to their cars for the
reception. “Do you want to ride to the house in the limo?” He motioned to the
waiting car.
“I
don’t want to leave him. Is that selfish? I don’t think I can handle playing
hostess at the reception and hearing stories about him all evening.”
“No,
that’s not selfish at all. I don’t want to leave either. My mother has her
friends to lean on from church. All that’s waiting for me is my band and the
media. I’m not in a rush to have cameras flashing at me for a second time
today.”
“Yeah.
The local media was nice. They sent flowers and a card. But the piranhas lying
in wait? I don’t know how you deal with them day in and day out.”
“I
ignore them mostly. Days like today though, I hope they’ll sport common decency
and leave me off the rags.” Jimmy swiped a hand across his hair.
They
stood and watched. “Do you think he’s at peace?” Sameera murmured.
“I
hope so.”
She
swallowed and nodded. “I’m ready to go now. I think I’d like to lay down and
rest for a bit.”
Jimmy
linked her arm into his, leading her to the waiting limo, shielding her body
from the flashing bulbs. As they clambered inside, his bandmates shuffled in
with them. She laid her head on his shoulder as the limo merged with funeral
traffic.
“We’re
sorry, brother. We can’t offer our condolences enough. We all loved him, bro.”
Garrick gripped his other shoulder.
“I
know. Thank you for coming. Did you send the girls home?” Jimmy stroked Sameera’s
glossy mane of jet-black hair.
“They’re
headed to your parent’s house in the other limo. I’m sure they’ll help your mom
with whatever needs done.”
Excerpt
2
Sameera
came out of the dressing room with her clothes, picked a locker and secured her
belongings. Carrie soon joined her, still fixing her outfit.
“Who’s
gonna paint us?
“We’re
going for simple. Look at these fabulous shades. They will glow when we hit the
club. For now you just need to put on some glow in the dark shim-shimmery lip
gloss. Both of you.” Catalina handed them a wand and each a pair of glasses.
“Body
paint?” Sameera grinned. “I want body paint.”
“Oh,
girl. Just you wait.” She watched Dominique head to the door and holler for
security. The muscle ripped god came to her rescue only to look around and see
nothing wrong. “Ma’am, why do you need me?”
“We
just need your hands, stud.” Catalina winked and held out the jar of paint.
“Sameera get your fine ass over here for this man to put his hands on you.
Jacob is it?” She read his name printed on his shirt. “Be a doll.” Catalina
smeared the paint over his hands—one hand pink, one hand green—and stepped
back.”
“Where
do you want them at?”
“You’re
a smart boy, I bet you can figure it out.” She winked and Sameera cracked up
laughing. Jacob laid his palms over her breasts, his fingers touching bare skin
leaving his brand on her.
“Nice.”
“All
right, no need to get all pervy. Turn around Sam so he can grip that fine ass
of yours.”
“God
damn, what a sexy ass,” Jacob growled as Catalina reapplied paint.
Sam
swore she heard her friend slap his ass. Next thing she knew he cupped her
cheeks with his massive hands, then gripped her hips with his fingertips and
stepped back.
“Admiring
your handiwork?” she asked over her shoulder. She applied a line of gloss and
tossed the shades over her eyes.
“Now
for the accessories,” Dominique announced as Jacob tried to get close to
Carrie.
“Uh,
I have a man. Step back.”
Sameera
cracked up. “Come get the light up necklaces and multi-colored bangles.”
“No
one else has handprints.”
“I’m
brilliant. Now here are your rules, Sam darling. Make him work for it. Work the
handprints because your history of giving in makes you an easy lay. Don’t be an
easy lay. Make him chase you and when he thinks he has you, make him chase you
some more. Flirt with Jacob, a little competition is good for the soul.”
“Cat,
what are you talking about?”
“Why,
Jimmy, of course. Now that he’s back in your life again, shit is going to get
crazy. He thinks he can just waltz in and smolder you with those deep green
eyes. Make you lust over those sexy six-pack abs and his talented fingers, so
you give in. Don’t be that girl, the one that caves in.”
“Uh
yeah, have you touched those abs?” Sam snorted. It would take all she had to
ignore the heated looks he threw her direction. “Don’t worry. I gave him a
crystal clear message. I’m off the Jimmy buffet.”
“Really,
Sam? Because the way you look at him tells a different story. It’s like ‘I’m
here to eat all I can get.’”
Sameera
rolled her eyes at Carrie. “He’s hot. Sometimes it takes a few for my body to
get in tune with the warning signs my brain is sending. He’s intense. So fucking
intense. Remembering what we were like sexually takes a toll. The night we were
together during the funeral, is one that’s never gonna happen.”
“Good
because Jimmy is such a whore and you don’t need that or the trouble it’d
bring. He enjoys snagging random ass. We all know it,” Dominique reminded her.
She
glanced at Carrie for support and her new friend nodded in agreement with her
best friend.
“Okay.
Let’s forget about the guys who came with us and go have a blast. I need a
drink or four after this stimulating conversation.” Sameera tucked a wad of
cash in her bikini top and flipped her hair. “Ready?” She didn’t wait for an
answer, but left them to trail after her. No one needed to tell her how much of
a man whore Jimmy was, she knew first hand from all the articles in rag magazines.
Music
blared out of the speaker system. Sameera linked her hand with Cat, who linked
her hand with Carrie, who linked up to Dom making a conga line to the bar. On
the way, a short girl stopped them with florescent shots of vodka in varied
colors. “I’ll grab the two rounds of shots, and drinks at the bar.” She pulled
out her cash and paid the girl for eight shots.
“To
getting blitzed.” Catalina raised her glass in the air. The girls chinked
plastic glasses and downed their drinks, then tossed the empties on the section
of the shot girl’s tray.
“Damn.”
Dominique nudged Sameera. “Look at the group of males with the tribal art all
over their bodies. I would lick that paint off inch by inch.”
“Girl.
You need to get laid. Your b.o.b. not doing it for you?” Catalina teased.
“Those guys are hot enough to get the job done.”
“Thanks,
ladies. Make the one taken woman feel hella uncomfortable. I know Shea is
around her somewhere, probably looking for me,” Carrie groused, looking around
for their group of males. “Oh, Sam. Jacob, our resident security, is still
looking at you and heading our way.”
“He
is fine as hell. Go get some of that girl,” Catalina prodded her.
“Um.
Okay. I’ll meet you ladies at the bar. Grab me a double drink.”
“Hey,
beautiful,” Jacob whispered in her ear. “I see you and your girls are getting
settled in. Come dance with me.” He slipped his arm around her and led her to
the middle of the floor.
“Aren’t
you working?” Sameera lifted on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear.
The
ripped male chuckled.
“Yeah,
no worries. I have coverage.” He led her hand to his other ear. Sameera felt
his ear-piece and cord leading down to his waist where a box was clipped.
“Hmm,
secret service like, very sexy.” She swayed to the fast beat of the music,
bumping her body against his, letting her fingers travel every inch of his
shirt. Jacob lifted her around his waist, carrying her to the back of the room.
Sameera sighed as his thick bulge bumped against her pussy with each step. When
his hands wound in her hair and he devoured her mouth with a sinful kiss, she
didn’t shy off. She dove in, like a woman starved for sexual release.
“Damn
beautiful, you taste fucking good.” Jacob broke off the kiss, touching his
ear-piece. Sameera sighed and licked her lips. “I…uh, should get back to my
friends.”
“Yes.
That’s a good idea. Get the fuck back to your friends.”
Shit. Sam didn’t need to look behind
her to know Jimmy found her. Now the question was how to extricate herself from
this potential smackdown delicately? Biting her lip, she twisted around at the
waist, placing a hand on Jimmy's chest and her other on Jacob’s. “Boys. No need
for this to get violent.”
“You
have about two seconds to climb the fuck off him and take my hand,” Jimmy
growled the words in her ear. Sam sighed and gave an apologetic smile to Jacob.
The promise of retribution in Jimmy’s voice both scared and stimulated her
libido. He growled reminding her to slide down. She did, and earned a heated
look from Jacob whose hand gripped her hip.
“Unless
this asshole has some prior claim on you, I can kick him out,” Jacob said.
“This
is family business. Go do your job, you’re not fucking her ever. She’s not some
goddamn whore to fuck in a club against the wall.”
“Really,
Jimmy? I mean didn’t you fuck me just like I was nothing but a whore?” Sameera
broke free of the testosterone brawl about to take place and stalked away,
leaving the men to have their pissing contest without her. She found her girls
at the bar chatting it up with the guys.
Buy Links: Secret Cravings Publishing
ADRI'S REVIEW:
First off I need to thank Mahalia Levey with providing me with a copy of this book so that I could bring you this review.
This review is going to be a little hard to write as I don't really want to spoil anything. What I can say is that within the first chapter this story had me crying, wanting to hug and protect JJ and hurt his parents. I also felt terrible for everything that Sameera was feeling and going through at the beginning of the story as well, but it was fantastic to see how strong and how much she'd changed from the beginning of the book to the end of it. Through out most of this book I found myself crying whether it was from sadness or joy was hard to pick. There are parts that were just so emotional I couldn't help but tear up. Now we all know that I love stories that start as friends that become more and this one has that element with a little more mixed into it. One thing I can say without really giving much away was the fact that we get to see what is going on with some of our other band members and their significant others.
As a friend of a few men in the military I have to say that I think its amazing how in each of these books Mahalia finds a way to remind us of the sacrifice that these men and women make for us and our freedom. As well as thank them and honor their lives. Have the tissues at the ready and be prepared to get lost in this book because before you know it, you will be finished reading and hoping for more.
Happy Reading... Adri
